: this is austin's blog :

In order to help out Vanessa, I went through a large stack of papers and such (mainly of old school assignments, oddly) to find a list of addresses. I found the list of addresses, but I also found a whole bunch of random shit that I wrote in high school. Most of it is embarrassing garbage, but some of it is just sooooo out there, I knew I had to post some of it on my blog so you all could enjoy a bit of my insanity.

Some of you would pass notes in class, some of you would read or doodle… this is the kind of stuff I did. I didn’t have many friends at first once I transferred to Frazer Valley Christian High School in grade 11, so I wrote random shit for fun; just for the way it read. In a lot of ways, I wish I could get back to this same spirit, only this time I’d harness it to create some real art.

I wrote these first two totally randomly one day in the computer lab:

* * *


Hear my words, let them speak to your
heart, the deepest
regions. Of the souls that unite,
unite me,
unite me!

Please?

I try hard to accomplish that which
Cannot be.

Who is worthy of you?
Who is worthy of a grace
as arduous
as your love?

No one.
None but you.
For yourself,
do you only dine.

Please!
Leave me some scraps!
A simple
unpure form of yourself,
is enough for me.

* * *


Seas of yellow melt into fortune cookies.
Doves fly off across chocolate rivers where I bathe.
Paintings of the past dance and surround me then shatter
and collapse into piles of flies that chase me to my room.
Balloons float away; green, red, blue and yellow. They disappear inside the sky’s endless
mouth and return to the earth as freshly cut seeds, falling all around.
And I sleep.

* * *


This was on a random piece of lined paper, written in pen. I have no idea when I wrote this:



I have seen the truth. It flows from my inner being, outwards, towards all knowledge. For what can knowledge contain if those who are lesser become us? Attempt to ascend in to the light and the darkness prevails.

Seek the truth then, and those who hide, find their end. The end. The end is the fear of all and the hope of all. Know its path, its ways and most of all, its view. For a view of the end is a fact un-denied.

Be always on a perceptive stance for then and only then will the knowledge come. Usher it in with a full heart and an empty mind, for what can you fill of a full space? Be empty, like the sands of time are empty. Though they have seen the countless ages, they retain nothing of them, as they seek to be always perceptive.

These are the little known facts that fail to be realized by many. That is why I tell you these truths, my son; why I depart them from me, to you. Be empty, know and grow.

* * *


hahaha man that last blurb is pure craziness. You’d think I must have been a druggie of the highest order to write insanity like that. But the thing is, I had never even touched alcohol, let alone any form of drugs, until after high school. Nope, oddly enough, if you re-read the first three paragraphs, especially the third one, you can tell by similar phrasing and tone that I basically had just read the Bible way too much. I was actually starting to sound like Paul...


P.S. c'mon guys, no comments on my last post? At least comment on this one...