: this is austin's blog :

Austin: (10:33:20 PM)
janna did you get my text recently?
Austin: (10:55:09 PM)
well I presume you did
Austin: (10:55:56 PM)
but aren't responding to me because you discovered that I've secretly been syphoning small amounts of money out of your bank account ever since we first met at old navy
Austin: (10:56:10 PM)
Well, I just want to say a few things:
Austin: (10:56:34 PM)
I'm not sorry. it was great. I bought lots of good food, I'd do it again if I could
Austin: (10:56:57 PM)
You're a good friend, but you're a bit slow, and I was just too fast for you
Austin: (10:57:58 PM)
too fast, and you got left in the dust
Austin: (10:58:19 PM)
you may never, ever forgive me
Austin: (10:59:19 PM)
you may relentlessly pursue me, seeking retributive justice for years and years, fueled by the pain of such an awful betrayal
Austin: (10:59:37 PM)
but that's fine, I knew that's what I was getting myself into
Austin: (11:00:11 PM)
from the very beginning
Austin: (11:00:22 PM)
in fact I kinda look forward to your pursuit
Austin: (11:00:35 PM)
life's so boring, the rush would be entertaining
Austin: (11:00:58 PM)
BRING IT BITCH
Austin: (11:01:04 PM)
...thats essentially what I mean
Austin: (11:01:11 PM)
in "street" terms
Austin: (11:01:18 PM)
I'm going into hiding
Austin: (11:01:59 PM)
like SUPER hiding... we're talking like japanese-hotel-5-foot-by-3-foot sleeping cubicle hiding
Austin: (11:02:13 PM)
you ain't never going to find me
Austin: (11:02:16 PM)
FOREVER
Austin: (11:03:38 PM)
this will be our last "communication"
Austin: (11:04:40 PM)
from now on you'll only hear from me through the plethora of red herrings I'll be leaving you in your world-wide wild goose chase to track me down
Austin: (11:04:56 PM)
while I relax on the beach of some tropical island
Austin: (11:05:17 PM)
surrounded by the breasts of beautiful women
Austin: (11:05:19 PM)
...
Austin: (11:05:28 PM)
and the women attached to the breasts
Austin: (11:06:38 PM)
sipping on a high-ball on the rocks using only the most expensive imported alcohol money can by
Austin: (11:07:54 PM)
I'd almost ask you to join me, but there wouldn't be any hope for that, by then your rage for me would have grown so large, it would have exceeded the limit of your own person.
Austin: (11:08:32 PM)
even if you caught me, and boiled me alive while eating my children in front of me, when I died, you would still feel unfulfilled
Austin: (11:09:04 PM)
you would have built up the moment of your revenge SO much, that the actual event would be a gross disappointment
Austin: (11:10:28 PM)
like those christmas socks you've been waiting all year to receive
Austin: (11:10:48 PM)
and when you finally do, it's just not nearly as good as in was in your mind
Austin: (11:10:57 PM)
so you might as well not even come after me
Austin: (11:11:16 PM)
not only will you never catch me, but even if you did, you will never feel the fulfillment you want
Austin: (11:11:45 PM)
you might as well just ignore that you ever discovered my syphoning of your hard earned money
Austin: (11:11:52 PM)
and just let it continue occur
Austin: (11:12:02 PM)
because the moment you decide to pursue it
Austin: (11:13:00 PM)
is the same moment you set into motion a massive disappointment that only your own death can ever hope to free you from
Austin: (11:16:28 PM)
having said that, here's the content of the text I sent you: Do you remember Amy Thorp? http://flickr.com/photos/austinofdoom/442808885/
Austin: (11:16:36 PM)
I hope you enjoy it as much as I did