: this is austin's blog :

like butter spread over too much bread.


Man. This place is an empty tomb. It used to be so active, years ago, when blogging was the latest thing. I can practically hear the wind howling and the old stones straining every time this page loads.


Forgive me blog for I have sinned, it's been like 10 months? since my last posting. I've gone longer than that before, but whatever.


I feel so compelled to write, but I feel broken. I see so many writers flourishing around me and I feel left at the bottom of the well. I was something once, but time has moved on and I've been left behind, as it leaves everyone behind eventually.

I let the balloon go, but now I'm jumping at the cord. Too late.


Is there anything left? I can say I'll try, but will I? I'm so out of the habit, I probably won't post in here again until I amass another ball of longing that has to be exorcised in some cathartic spurt on this damn blog.

I've been inside for nearly two days now, just reading and writing for class. Maybe I've just broken my brain, temporarily?


I've never wanted to stretch time more than I do right now. I need more of it. I feel like I can only accomplish half of the things I desire to in any given day. As we get older, our perception of time changes. As a one year old child, one month is 1/12 of your entire life. One month is only 1/318th of my life. And the gap gets larger. A few hours to a child can seem like ages. A day to an old man is a sudden breeze, leaving just as you begin to realize it.

I'm only 26 and a half but I can already feel time compressing and I don't like it. In a few moments I'll look at the clock and I'll have lost more time than I wanted too. time, slipping through the cracks in my fingers, and it's pace is quickening.


I've heard that Leonardo Da Vinci would work 45 minutes and then sleep for 15, all day long. That sounds both insane and admirable.

I've decided I'm going to do it, if I can. For one day. I don't know when but I will; someday after school is over. It'll be Da Vinci day and it'll be glorious. Probably painful and intensely strange; but those really are the best times, right?