Self discovery day! I give you two examples!!
charisse: ohh, dont apologize! its was fun.
[03:26:47 PM] charisse: promise you wont apologize anymore!!! unless you hurt my feelings, in which case i will expect an apology!:P
[03:27:28 PM] Austin: nope I refuse to make that promise
[03:27:43 PM] charisse: well that hurts my feelings!
[03:27:47 PM] Austin: apologizing is an important way that I communicate with others
[03:27:59 PM] Austin: it naturally puts me in a place where I feel the need to make up for things
[03:28:11 PM] Austin: so it makes being nicer to someone easier because I feel like I owe it to them
[03:28:19 PM] Austin: otherwise I run the risk of not being humble
[03:28:34 PM] Austin: and sounding arrogant or having things said with misunderstandings
[03:28:50 PM] Austin: instant self-analyzations by austin cooper, right here!!
[03:30:32 PM] charisse: hmm, i guess it wouldnt hurt me to be more like that. i never really care about misunderstandings and stuff cause i have this thought that if someone is upset by a misunderstanding its not my fault, although its unfortunate and i would hope they would come to me and we could talk about it.
[03:30:55 PM] Austin: hahahah
[03:31:09 PM] Austin: now I'm not saying the fact that I apologize all the time is nesicarilly a good thing
[03:31:47 PM] Austin: but I do want peopelto understand me, and I certainly wouldn't want a misunderstand to cuase someone to havea false impression of who I am or whatever
[03:31:59 PM] Austin: I seek actively to work out misunderstandings
and another!
Friend:ho
Austin:hooooooooooooooooooo
Friend:wuz new
Austin:nothign man
Austin:nothign is ever new
Friend:hmm
Austin:this whole messed up world is jsut as crappy as it ever has been
Austin:nothign ever changes
Austin:nothign ever improves
Austin:it's all just crap
Friend:wow
Friend:you have a special gift that makes people warm inside and happy.
Austin:really? that sucks
Austin:what a useless gift
Friend: ha ha.......
Austin:if everythign is pointless, why feel good
Austin:it just so tmeporary and realy is just like a tatse of a freedom that you'll never fully have
Austin:so why even torture yourself with slices of happiness?
Friend:um...
Austin:that's my opinion though, you're entited to your own pursuit of temporay joy or whateveryou call it that makes your life have meaning
Friend:did you have a bad day today?
Austin:didn't I just tell you? nothing ever changes
Austin:so no I didn't
Friend:ah, i see.
Friend:actually, i dont. YOU IZ CRASY.
Austin:bad days are relative to a changing environm,ent
Austin:the world is a messed up place
Austin:so in a way, every day is a bad day
Austin:and nothing changes
Austin:so every day is a bad day
Austin:for sure
Austin:and like I said earlier too
Austin:its's not even worht aknowledging the good days
Austin:since all they are is little blips of something good in a sea of crud, and all they'll do is make you hopeful forthe next
Austin:like a druggie hoping for his next hit
Austin:the more you tempt yourself with expectant hearts for happiness the more you allow life's eventual dissapoinments to hurt you
Friend:sounds like someone needs a HUG! you're just a big softie inside!
Austin:this way, I can stay jsut below the line in terms of being pleased with life, but by resigning to be there, I wont' be suprised by either "good days" or "Bad days" as you put it
Austin:no, I'm a well of pain an isolation stuck in a black vacuum of an existence
Austin:by the way, this is all meaningless crap
Austin:I was just seeing how long I could go on like this
Friend:i know
Austin:ok jsut makgin sure
Austin:now that I've got your hopes up for me, I can bring out he razors and start hacking at my neck
Friend:for a second i was thinking... are you being serious or not.. i know i was leaning towards you not being serious but there's always that ...uhhh ... .. ?
Austin:hahahahaha
Austin:oh man
Friend:do you think that some of the stuff you said makes sense sometimes though?
Austin:I dunno
Friend:like this: "the more you tempt yourself with expectant hearts for happiness the more you allow life's eventual dissapoinments to hurt you"
Austin:by saying stuff like that, I sorta explore that mindset
Friend:around it, without being tainted by it?
Austin:yeah sorta...
Austin:I dunno there's this very dark aspect of myself that I know is there
Austin:but I also aknowledge that it's a very unhealthy and negative
Austin:so I purposely choose not to react to it
Austin:but I dunno, I let it out sometimes for my own amusement
Friend:ok so
Friend:you react lightly to you dark side
Austin:yeah I guess
Austin:I know that it ultimately is not a good placeto dwell in
Friend:right
charisse: ohh, dont apologize! its was fun.
[03:26:47 PM] charisse: promise you wont apologize anymore!!! unless you hurt my feelings, in which case i will expect an apology!:P
[03:27:28 PM] Austin: nope I refuse to make that promise
[03:27:43 PM] charisse: well that hurts my feelings!
[03:27:47 PM] Austin: apologizing is an important way that I communicate with others
[03:27:59 PM] Austin: it naturally puts me in a place where I feel the need to make up for things
[03:28:11 PM] Austin: so it makes being nicer to someone easier because I feel like I owe it to them
[03:28:19 PM] Austin: otherwise I run the risk of not being humble
[03:28:34 PM] Austin: and sounding arrogant or having things said with misunderstandings
[03:28:50 PM] Austin: instant self-analyzations by austin cooper, right here!!
[03:30:32 PM] charisse: hmm, i guess it wouldnt hurt me to be more like that. i never really care about misunderstandings and stuff cause i have this thought that if someone is upset by a misunderstanding its not my fault, although its unfortunate and i would hope they would come to me and we could talk about it.
[03:30:55 PM] Austin: hahahah
[03:31:09 PM] Austin: now I'm not saying the fact that I apologize all the time is nesicarilly a good thing
[03:31:47 PM] Austin: but I do want peopelto understand me, and I certainly wouldn't want a misunderstand to cuase someone to havea false impression of who I am or whatever
[03:31:59 PM] Austin: I seek actively to work out misunderstandings
and another!
Friend:ho
Austin:hooooooooooooooooooo
Friend:wuz new
Austin:nothign man
Austin:nothign is ever new
Friend:hmm
Austin:this whole messed up world is jsut as crappy as it ever has been
Austin:nothign ever changes
Austin:nothign ever improves
Austin:it's all just crap
Friend:wow
Friend:you have a special gift that makes people warm inside and happy.
Austin:really? that sucks
Austin:what a useless gift
Friend: ha ha.......
Austin:if everythign is pointless, why feel good
Austin:it just so tmeporary and realy is just like a tatse of a freedom that you'll never fully have
Austin:so why even torture yourself with slices of happiness?
Friend:um...
Austin:that's my opinion though, you're entited to your own pursuit of temporay joy or whateveryou call it that makes your life have meaning
Friend:did you have a bad day today?
Austin:didn't I just tell you? nothing ever changes
Austin:so no I didn't
Friend:ah, i see.
Friend:actually, i dont. YOU IZ CRASY.
Austin:bad days are relative to a changing environm,ent
Austin:the world is a messed up place
Austin:so in a way, every day is a bad day
Austin:and nothing changes
Austin:so every day is a bad day
Austin:for sure
Austin:and like I said earlier too
Austin:its's not even worht aknowledging the good days
Austin:since all they are is little blips of something good in a sea of crud, and all they'll do is make you hopeful forthe next
Austin:like a druggie hoping for his next hit
Austin:the more you tempt yourself with expectant hearts for happiness the more you allow life's eventual dissapoinments to hurt you
Friend:sounds like someone needs a HUG! you're just a big softie inside!
Austin:this way, I can stay jsut below the line in terms of being pleased with life, but by resigning to be there, I wont' be suprised by either "good days" or "Bad days" as you put it
Austin:no, I'm a well of pain an isolation stuck in a black vacuum of an existence
Austin:by the way, this is all meaningless crap
Austin:I was just seeing how long I could go on like this
Friend:i know
Austin:ok jsut makgin sure
Austin:now that I've got your hopes up for me, I can bring out he razors and start hacking at my neck
Friend:for a second i was thinking... are you being serious or not.. i know i was leaning towards you not being serious but there's always that ...uhhh ... .. ?
Austin:hahahahaha
Austin:oh man
Friend:do you think that some of the stuff you said makes sense sometimes though?
Austin:I dunno
Friend:like this: "the more you tempt yourself with expectant hearts for happiness the more you allow life's eventual dissapoinments to hurt you"
Austin:by saying stuff like that, I sorta explore that mindset
Friend:around it, without being tainted by it?
Austin:yeah sorta...
Austin:I dunno there's this very dark aspect of myself that I know is there
Austin:but I also aknowledge that it's a very unhealthy and negative
Austin:so I purposely choose not to react to it
Austin:but I dunno, I let it out sometimes for my own amusement
Friend:ok so
Friend:you react lightly to you dark side
Austin:yeah I guess
Austin:I know that it ultimately is not a good placeto dwell in
Friend:right
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