I wasn't born in africa. I have no crippiling physical defects, or mental handicaps (that I'm aware of.) I haven't had a traumatic childhood by any means, I haven't engaged in any of those childhood "mistake" experiences. I've never been drunk, I've never been under the influence of any illicit substance. I've never had sex, I've never fought anyone, I've never tried to kill myself, I've never had a friend who's tried to kill themself (to my knowledge). I've never cheated on my girlfriend. I can't remember the last time I ever acted out of pure malice towards someone else. I've been betrayed by a close friend twice but the first was so long ago and I don't think it even affected me the right way, or the normal way, I still trust people a great deal. My parents are still together and are happily married. I do have my own set of irrational fears and personality ticks, but nothing requiring professional help (that I can see.) My perception of self used to be very bad, but I've come through and out of that now. I'm really quirky and eccentric,, anyone that knows me would tell you that but, basically, I'm normal......
WHY??!?!?!?!
What I seem to be very quickly discovering is that I am not normal. My life, my drama and trauma free life is one of great minority. There's a million questions to ask here I don't know even how to continue. I'm not innocent and yet at the same time I feel so innocent compared to the world. Suddenly in the past year, people I know have had abortions, parents divorced due to supressed homosexuality, parents divorced due to well, whatever slew of reasons, drug addictions, child abuse, spousal/partner abuse, mental disorders, the list goes on.
What the hell? I know this world is a shitty place but I guess I didn't know that this is really it. And why does my life seem like an eden compared to some? Why do I get eden? why do I feel judgmental in even thinking this way?
This is too much for this post, and I'm getting too tired to continue. But I'm hoping that maybe, as I continue to grow and learn, I'll discover a bit more about this place, and maybe my "empathy" will learn how to deal with it all....
WHY??!?!?!?!
What I seem to be very quickly discovering is that I am not normal. My life, my drama and trauma free life is one of great minority. There's a million questions to ask here I don't know even how to continue. I'm not innocent and yet at the same time I feel so innocent compared to the world. Suddenly in the past year, people I know have had abortions, parents divorced due to supressed homosexuality, parents divorced due to well, whatever slew of reasons, drug addictions, child abuse, spousal/partner abuse, mental disorders, the list goes on.
What the hell? I know this world is a shitty place but I guess I didn't know that this is really it. And why does my life seem like an eden compared to some? Why do I get eden? why do I feel judgmental in even thinking this way?
This is too much for this post, and I'm getting too tired to continue. But I'm hoping that maybe, as I continue to grow and learn, I'll discover a bit more about this place, and maybe my "empathy" will learn how to deal with it all....
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