Alright so, no post in a week. This means that a long, replacement one is in order and I am willing to deliver.
Man, I've got a headache right now and it sucks. I never get headaches, in fact I'm not even sure if what I have right now is even a headache since I don't get them at all, I'm not even sure how to define it for myself. What constitutes a headache? Can anyone really explain it? It's a totally subjective feeling. A headache for you might be nausea for me, or eye strain, or vice versa or anything like that. Right now, it's like the very back and sorta upper part of my right eye is paining me. Is that a headache?
Anyway, recently I've been having really, really messed up dreams. A few days ago I dreamt about a friend of mine (who I won't name for reasons that'll be clearer later on) and the thing is, well, nothing of any real significance happened in the dream except for this one part that is totally fiction (as far as I know) and disturbing. I dreamt that she was ranting to me about her ex-boyfriend and how he treated her like shit and so on and she was getting really worked up about it. Finally, her tirade ended with this: "...and he was sleeping with other girls too! Did you know that he had had kids with the other girls he was having sex with? But he wouldn't with me, just fisting!!"
I basically woke up then and was shocked at what I had just seen. No, I didn't see my friend getting fisted by her ex; it was just seeing her rage about this event that I'm quite sure never happened, or at least was not based on real events. Craziness.
Last night, I dreamt I joined the army (which would never happen.) Suddenly, I’m in a battle hiding behind some cover when I turn to a friend and say something to the effect that I don’t recall any of my training, I feel like I just woke up here. At this point, I become somewhat aware that I was dreaming, seeing as how I was just instantly shuttled from the army recruitment centre to a battle. Suddenly, I’m shuttled to another new scene. This time I’m dead, or dying. I’m sprawled on the ground, and my left leg has been speared through and I’m missing part of my right leg. My face is covered in blood and I’m screaming. Shuttled again. Now I see myself in third person, I am dead for sure now, half my face is gone, on top of my previous injuries.
Now I wake up, an hour before my alarm. What was that all about?? Dreams fascinate me in odd ways.
Have you ever thought about how your life never really concludes, besides death? Sleep is quite neatly viewed as the conclusion of one day, and waking up, as the commencement of a new one. But don’t view it that way. Instead, view your life as just one day, one long day, and sleep is simply these 8 or so hour periods where your eyes are closed and you don’t move. Nothing concludes, everything just continues again 12 hours later. It’s an odd way to look at things.
Do you know what an odd way to look at love is? This is the idea that my English professor has said to us several times. Many people view love, romantic love, as happy and a good thing and I mean, of course it is. What my professor reminded us is that throughout literature, love is viewed as a disease, something one is stricken with and is terrible for your life. It takes control of you and you are almost powerless to stop it. You can't help but feed its irrational need. It's probably ok when you're a teenager, when you don't have a lot of responsibility, but if you get it when you're an adult, it destroys people's lives! Unless you’re one of the lucky ones that have found reciprocal love, then I’m sorry, but this fate awaits you for quite some time. I’ve embraced it.
She’s just discovering the joys of love.
Man, I've got a headache right now and it sucks. I never get headaches, in fact I'm not even sure if what I have right now is even a headache since I don't get them at all, I'm not even sure how to define it for myself. What constitutes a headache? Can anyone really explain it? It's a totally subjective feeling. A headache for you might be nausea for me, or eye strain, or vice versa or anything like that. Right now, it's like the very back and sorta upper part of my right eye is paining me. Is that a headache?
Anyway, recently I've been having really, really messed up dreams. A few days ago I dreamt about a friend of mine (who I won't name for reasons that'll be clearer later on) and the thing is, well, nothing of any real significance happened in the dream except for this one part that is totally fiction (as far as I know) and disturbing. I dreamt that she was ranting to me about her ex-boyfriend and how he treated her like shit and so on and she was getting really worked up about it. Finally, her tirade ended with this: "...and he was sleeping with other girls too! Did you know that he had had kids with the other girls he was having sex with? But he wouldn't with me, just fisting!!"
I basically woke up then and was shocked at what I had just seen. No, I didn't see my friend getting fisted by her ex; it was just seeing her rage about this event that I'm quite sure never happened, or at least was not based on real events. Craziness.
Last night, I dreamt I joined the army (which would never happen.) Suddenly, I’m in a battle hiding behind some cover when I turn to a friend and say something to the effect that I don’t recall any of my training, I feel like I just woke up here. At this point, I become somewhat aware that I was dreaming, seeing as how I was just instantly shuttled from the army recruitment centre to a battle. Suddenly, I’m shuttled to another new scene. This time I’m dead, or dying. I’m sprawled on the ground, and my left leg has been speared through and I’m missing part of my right leg. My face is covered in blood and I’m screaming. Shuttled again. Now I see myself in third person, I am dead for sure now, half my face is gone, on top of my previous injuries.
Now I wake up, an hour before my alarm. What was that all about?? Dreams fascinate me in odd ways.
Have you ever thought about how your life never really concludes, besides death? Sleep is quite neatly viewed as the conclusion of one day, and waking up, as the commencement of a new one. But don’t view it that way. Instead, view your life as just one day, one long day, and sleep is simply these 8 or so hour periods where your eyes are closed and you don’t move. Nothing concludes, everything just continues again 12 hours later. It’s an odd way to look at things.
Do you know what an odd way to look at love is? This is the idea that my English professor has said to us several times. Many people view love, romantic love, as happy and a good thing and I mean, of course it is. What my professor reminded us is that throughout literature, love is viewed as a disease, something one is stricken with and is terrible for your life. It takes control of you and you are almost powerless to stop it. You can't help but feed its irrational need. It's probably ok when you're a teenager, when you don't have a lot of responsibility, but if you get it when you're an adult, it destroys people's lives! Unless you’re one of the lucky ones that have found reciprocal love, then I’m sorry, but this fate awaits you for quite some time. I’ve embraced it.
She’s just discovering the joys of love.
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