Back in the day, I used to be obsessed with war. My sister, who never updates her blog, can vouch for me.
Jordan and I used to spend nearly every weekend together and we’d spend them renting Vietnam and World War 2 movies, playing similarly themed games on our computers (I AM THE NERD) and even just reading about the wars. Yeah, in retrospect, totally unhealthy.
Is 15-16 too old to be running around your friend’s acreage pretending a croquet mallet is an M16 and throwing “grenades” (empty pop cans filled about a ¼ of the way with gravel then duct taped shut) into bushes?
Yeah, in retrospect, totally unhealthy. (I REALLY AM THE NERD.)
My perspective and perception of war has changed since then, thank the Lord. Though it sometimes resurfaces in small amounts randomly, I can put it back in its place by reminding myself of innocent, dead children. War is hell, man. What bothers me now, is how I could ever have found something so terrible, something…fun, or even, cool. Man, I feel like such a freak even writing it now. But that’s just the truth, and like I said, it still resurfaces. I also know that I was/am not alone in my old view on war. There are lots of guys my age out there who still view war as this, “proving ground.” What changed me? What will change them? Will they change?
The obsession part of it seems to be in all the technology, the weaponry, the squad tactics, the large scale battles etc., at least for me. Just knowing about all that stuff is nearly an unlimited supply of knowledge for young, malleable male minds. (alliteration, awww yeah.) But all that knowledge simply blinds you to the harsher realities of war: Dead moms, dads and kids on both sides, destroyed homes, impoverishment, occupation etc. When you’re shooting the bad guy, you’re not thinking, “This guy probably has a mom and dad that love him and want to see him raise a family. Does he have a baby sister? Did he get what he wanted for his 12th birthday? What’s his best friend’s name?” Can you now shoot this guy, just as easily as before? Not if you have a soul.
I just finished watching Full Metal Jacket for the second time. I saw it for the first time back in my crazy obsessed phase and honestly, didn’t like it that much. I didn’t understand why people kept saying it was so incredible. There were hardly any big battles, and too much down time. Now, I wasn’t totally stupid. I knew that they spent the first half of the movie in the boot camp to give a good, hard, truthful portrayal of the life of a soldier. I could grasp that, but it just didn’t get me like it should have. Then again, it couldn’t have, my view of war was much too one-sided. I remember being disturbed by the ending, but I couldn’t formulate a good reason as to why.
Seeing it this second time though, and not even in its entirety, I could barely sit through it. I was horrified, depressed, shocked and outraged, all at once. This time, I got the ending, and it shook me to my core. (ooo, melodramatic language.) It made me disgusted with many things, my old “war is rad” self, chiefly among them.
The other main thing that got me is this notion of imperialism that large, powerful nations seem to acquire. It comes with the territory, I guess. Let’s go to Iraq and “liberate.” Let’s go to Vietnam and “liberate.” Liberation isn’t the only guise though. “Let’s teach these ‘savages’ in North America how to become civilized by giving them shitty, shitty trades and small pox.” Don’t get me wrong, America isn’t the only bad guy. This same “let’s civilize (aka exploit) them” mentality, was the driving power behind the British Empire, certainly not the improvement of the quality of life to mankind.
I mean, who can really afford to live that slogan out? Improving people’s lives? How lucrative is that?
The story of history, going father back than the Roman Empire, (admittedly, anything before that, I know little to nothing about,) seems to me, to be one of some nation becoming powerful, obsessed with their own greatness, then trying to conquer the world in order to verify those beliefs. Thankfully, in the end, their own pride is their downfall; however, not without its costs to the rest of global society.
Granted, the world has grown into a greater sense of “global community” though the uniting nature of its various past empires. But the question still remains, how can one nation justify the forceful occupation of another? The answer is easy:
“If you think you’re better than them, then, you’re really doing them a service. A kindness really. See, look how nice you are, helping them out. You really are better…” Now you’ve got the ball of cyclical logic rolling. It only gets bigger from here.
Woah, I don’t think I’ve ranted like that in my blog in…like…ever. Looks like I’ve popped my blog’s “political” cherry, and also confessed some really embarrassing information about what I used to do on a sunny, Saturday afternoon in grade 10.
Jordan and I used to spend nearly every weekend together and we’d spend them renting Vietnam and World War 2 movies, playing similarly themed games on our computers (I AM THE NERD) and even just reading about the wars. Yeah, in retrospect, totally unhealthy.
Is 15-16 too old to be running around your friend’s acreage pretending a croquet mallet is an M16 and throwing “grenades” (empty pop cans filled about a ¼ of the way with gravel then duct taped shut) into bushes?
Yeah, in retrospect, totally unhealthy. (I REALLY AM THE NERD.)
My perspective and perception of war has changed since then, thank the Lord. Though it sometimes resurfaces in small amounts randomly, I can put it back in its place by reminding myself of innocent, dead children. War is hell, man. What bothers me now, is how I could ever have found something so terrible, something…fun, or even, cool. Man, I feel like such a freak even writing it now. But that’s just the truth, and like I said, it still resurfaces. I also know that I was/am not alone in my old view on war. There are lots of guys my age out there who still view war as this, “proving ground.” What changed me? What will change them? Will they change?
The obsession part of it seems to be in all the technology, the weaponry, the squad tactics, the large scale battles etc., at least for me. Just knowing about all that stuff is nearly an unlimited supply of knowledge for young, malleable male minds. (alliteration, awww yeah.) But all that knowledge simply blinds you to the harsher realities of war: Dead moms, dads and kids on both sides, destroyed homes, impoverishment, occupation etc. When you’re shooting the bad guy, you’re not thinking, “This guy probably has a mom and dad that love him and want to see him raise a family. Does he have a baby sister? Did he get what he wanted for his 12th birthday? What’s his best friend’s name?” Can you now shoot this guy, just as easily as before? Not if you have a soul.
I just finished watching Full Metal Jacket for the second time. I saw it for the first time back in my crazy obsessed phase and honestly, didn’t like it that much. I didn’t understand why people kept saying it was so incredible. There were hardly any big battles, and too much down time. Now, I wasn’t totally stupid. I knew that they spent the first half of the movie in the boot camp to give a good, hard, truthful portrayal of the life of a soldier. I could grasp that, but it just didn’t get me like it should have. Then again, it couldn’t have, my view of war was much too one-sided. I remember being disturbed by the ending, but I couldn’t formulate a good reason as to why.
Seeing it this second time though, and not even in its entirety, I could barely sit through it. I was horrified, depressed, shocked and outraged, all at once. This time, I got the ending, and it shook me to my core. (ooo, melodramatic language.) It made me disgusted with many things, my old “war is rad” self, chiefly among them.
The other main thing that got me is this notion of imperialism that large, powerful nations seem to acquire. It comes with the territory, I guess. Let’s go to Iraq and “liberate.” Let’s go to Vietnam and “liberate.” Liberation isn’t the only guise though. “Let’s teach these ‘savages’ in North America how to become civilized by giving them shitty, shitty trades and small pox.” Don’t get me wrong, America isn’t the only bad guy. This same “let’s civilize (aka exploit) them” mentality, was the driving power behind the British Empire, certainly not the improvement of the quality of life to mankind.
I mean, who can really afford to live that slogan out? Improving people’s lives? How lucrative is that?
The story of history, going father back than the Roman Empire, (admittedly, anything before that, I know little to nothing about,) seems to me, to be one of some nation becoming powerful, obsessed with their own greatness, then trying to conquer the world in order to verify those beliefs. Thankfully, in the end, their own pride is their downfall; however, not without its costs to the rest of global society.
Granted, the world has grown into a greater sense of “global community” though the uniting nature of its various past empires. But the question still remains, how can one nation justify the forceful occupation of another? The answer is easy:
“If you think you’re better than them, then, you’re really doing them a service. A kindness really. See, look how nice you are, helping them out. You really are better…” Now you’ve got the ball of cyclical logic rolling. It only gets bigger from here.
Woah, I don’t think I’ve ranted like that in my blog in…like…ever. Looks like I’ve popped my blog’s “political” cherry, and also confessed some really embarrassing information about what I used to do on a sunny, Saturday afternoon in grade 10.
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